Rights: Ole Johnny Hansen for afroginthefjord.com

Dating in Norway: the Strangest things only Norwegian men say

All of these are true, either experienced by me or some of my female friends. Okay okay, some I made up, not that many actually. Hey, no one said it was illegal to have a little imagination 🙂 You can try to guess which ones I made up though, a good test to know whether you know Norwegian society well, or whether you know me well.

1. Do you want to have kids with me? If not, let me know. I am 35, no time to lose with you.

2. How many times per week do you train?

3. Do you want to be my “venn med fordell”?
Me: Your what?
Guy: Friend with benefits, you know, sex.

4. Do you like friluftsliv?

5. Don’t stand so close to my car. It’s a Tesla you know, very expensive.

6. Are you drunk? I mean drunk enough not to remember what we are about to do?

7. Which country do you come from? Oh I have a that country coloured already on my world map of origin of girls I had sex with. If you know any girl from Fiji, North Korea or Romania let me know, I am interested!

8. Guy: Would you move away from Oslo?
Girl: To where for example?
Guy: To the village in Trøndelag I grew up in and live 30 meters away from my parents. You know, for our kids to grow up in nature and stuff.
Girl: What’s your name again?
Guy: Nevermind.

9. It was such a koselig evening we spent together don’t you think?

10. To the waiter: No we’re paying separate.
To me: You had a drink more than me, don’t forget to pay everything you had tonight.
Me, quietly: Screw likestilling.

11. I really like the whale burger here, you should get that.

12. Do you want to snus?

13. Guy: Which novel from Knausgård do you prefer?
Me: I don’t know, I haven’t read any of them.
Guy: (surprised) You don’t read Knausgård? But what DO you read then?

14. Why are you so short? Is there a genetic problem in your family?

15. Do you eat lutefisk?

16. Do you want to become a Norwegian citizen? Why not? Norway is the greatest place in the world you know.

18. Oh you’re that French girl who writes about Norwegians. How many readers do you get every week. Wow so many? Can you write about me?

19. What is your 5-year plan?

20. Did you hurt yourself when I banged the glass door in your face? Oh you expected me to hold the door for you? Sweety, this is Norway, women are not treated like children here, they are expected to hold and carry everything themselves. It’s called gender equality. (Again, screy you gender equality – sometimes).

This is mostly about what Norwegian men say, if you have any input on strange things Norwegian women say on dates, be my guest and contact me with your ideas! Also, if you have other input on things men say, bring it on. Note: this was inspired by a twitter competition called #FirstDateQuestions.

Want to know more about dating Norwegians? Check out my book here!



44 thoughts on “Dating in Norway: the Strangest things only Norwegian men say

  1. 1 – 5 and 14 , is my guess that you used your imagination 😉 Norwegians are mostly diplomatic in this case and don’t talk it out also I saw lot of them who like shorter girls

    1. I could say the no.14 is real. My husband (Norwegian) actually did it when we were dating :). Not exactly the same sentence, but he was wondering why I’m so short and he has always been 30cm lonely while we talking a walk.

  2. Norwegian men don’t seem to understand that there’s something called “being polite” which is not contradictory to gender equality. I do know a couple of Norwegian men who actually hold the door for a woman, and pull out her chair in a restaurant and things like that, and I have suggested for them that they arrange courses for their friends in good behavior 😉

  3. No idea, they all sound likely. Perhaps not the one about the door in your face. Mind, Norwegian men is likely not to hold the door for you, but I don’t think the would say exactly those things.

  4. Twelve years ago my Norwegian language teacher ,Aud, told me to never lose my ” Englishness”. I now realise what she meant. Keep holding the doors, keep saying please and thankyou and keep speaking your mind . I have .

    1. Hi Elena
      Actually this rumor used to be true. At the time of Versailles French people did not wash themselves in the palace and if I remember well there were no proper toilets, and therefore they smelled very bad. hence the reputation that is following us until now 🙂 But I am pretty sure modern French people take showers every day.

      1. Hahaha, NO. They – French girls – still dont have shower everyday. And most of them dont change panties everyday. Many even sleep in them. Thats two things they share with the German girls. Compared to that, Norwegians – and other nordics – are very hygienic.
        But there are many very funny statements by Norwegians (IF they open their mouth and talk) I used to travel around Norway with my Norwegian gf, who turned Vegan. To almost any Norwegian, the concept of a Vegan is more alien, than if you tell them: She has just arrived from planet Mars.
        One was a waiter in a restaurant: You say she s Norwegian? But vegan ? She can not be Norwegian. Anyway: She speaks too much. (I was doing all the talking. She had only confirmed three times what I said by saying: Yes)

        Another guy. You re married to a girl from Poland ? Yes, I found that very practical. She does all the talking for both of us.

  5. Norway seems to have real gender equality and not fake one like rest of the countries where men still have to chase them and pay for them and drive them and do everything in between and won’t even get thanks in return.

    1. Gentleman is a British middle class concept, so no, you will not find many of those in Norway. And a good thing too I believe. I think we have to do our best to maintain those sides of our society that makes it little hierarchical. Our flat social structure is a huge strength. It is however very much under attack.

      Of course, this does not mean we need to be inconsiderate.

      1. It`s not a concept , it`s something to do with your upbringing . Having manners crosses all class barriers . ” Flat social structure ” !! Only in Scandinavia can you get away with that BS .

      2. This one is meant for Dave Smiths last comment, as it was not possible to reply to it. Of course it has to do with your upbringing! Do you believe English upbringing is universal? It is a cultural thing. Same goes for your definition of manners.

  6. I think these two about gender equality make a man sound like a jerk. It doesn’t seem natural, but more like “you still want your equality, bitch?”. It would be completely fine to say you’re paying for yourself (unless you’re the one who invited someone to that place, obviously) and that’s all, no hinting that not paying is your revenge for the equality. And it would be completely fine to not hold the door (isn’t it a Norwegian thing though? In some countries everyone holds the door for everyone, not just men for women.. or no one for no one for that matter :p). I’m fine with not having the door opened for me (lol), but if you make a comment like the one posted in 20, you sound sexist. You wouldn’t say that to a man from abroad, who expected politeness from you (“Oh you expected me to hold the door for you? Sweetie, this is Norway. People don’t do that for each other here”).

  7. Well I was basically asked about my 5-year plan. To add to that, it came from a guy who was just 28 and already seriously looking for a wife to have kids with. Don’t Norwegians want to enjoy life longer? So weird

  8. Seldom we hear anything particular quirky about Norwegians from Dutch and German bloggers.

    There is one finnish example, but i have lived in Finland, and knows that she is never going back there.

    1. Oh I am a German living in Norway and I am even from Berlin which is known for a bit of rough tough attitude and I find the lack of charm and manners in Norwegians quite tough to handle. It does not make a difference if I get stuck in a door together with a man, because he did not let me go first or if my Norwegian (and very charming) boyfriend holds a door for a woman and she just walks through with that slightly pissed expression on her face that people here master so well. I agree with what was said before likestilling should not be mistaken with bad manners and impoliteness. I happily hold the door for an elderly man and let people get off the train first before I enter, man or woman.

  9. I think most of those questions and behavior above are so reasonable. Especially no. 1, 2, 4 etc. Would love a guy to ask me no. 8, 9, 13, 15 (I love lutefisk!), 16 or talking about 5 year plans. I agree about gender equality but while my short stays in Norge, noone banged the door in my face. Most of the guys were polite enough to hold the door for me etc. I guess this is probably because they knew how it was in Europe. And that made them even cuter! 🙂

  10. I am a Mexican girl and I have known Norwegian boys studying here and visiting at university some years ago, they were a little bit shy, they usually drank a lot to fall sleep 🙂 but they were kind and sweet.
    I would love to date now a Norwegian man, I haven´t found a date website if somebody could tell me where to look for a candidate I´ll appreciate it 😀 It would be amazing if he´d like to come to live here in Mexico because I don´t like cold weather 😛 we have beautiful places to live and financial paradises and opportunities of investments

  11. 1. Yes. We do have special interest in experiencing girls from different parts of the world.
    2. Knausgård is over rated.

    1. Oh it happened exactly the same with me. Im from South America and im very educated, high level, intelligent. He hit in me for weeks, treated me so good, kind, generous, and when he leaved (i met him in a trip), he changed completely. He is fake and ridiculous!

  12. I just found this site, and it’s fascinating to me! I grew up in Norway, IL, the oldest Norwegian settlement in the USA, and so many of these quotes remind me of the extreme Norwegian practicality I am so familiar with. On the first date, he wants to know if you want children? Of course, because that’s a practical reality he intends and there’s no sense being with a girl who doesn’t. But in my experience, Norwegian men and boys are never intentionally rude. The vast majority are sweet and nice. And I like the sense of equality between the sexes. As a farm girl, I was allowed to bale hay, drive tractors, and do the same work as the boys–I did not know any non-Norwegian girls who were allowed to do this work. It made me strong and capable of tackling anything with confidence.

  13. Hahaha, All the answers with long sentences are made up. No Norwegian man speaks with long sentences. But its fun reading.

  14. Honestly am looking for a Norwegian women to end the rest of my life with, am honest loyal straight and the important part is God fear, Norwegian women are perfect it is my private opinion,

  15. Comment by a Norwegian man in response to my attempt at flirting :
    Me: If you like travelling at short notice we should know each other.
    Him: No, no I came with my friend who I already know. We’ve been on many trips together and I know if she thinks the trip will be fun, it will be good.
    Me: [after a polite pause I walk away].

    It still makes me giggle. There was a definite emphasis on that first ‘no’.

  16. 18. Oh you’re that French girl who writes about Norwegians. How many readers do you get every week. Wow so many? Can you write about me?

    Yay he made it to your blog! XD
    Hilarious post! I can imagine them saying these, in English, with their thick Norwegian accents.

  17. They just treat you The same way that they would treat a Norwegian woman. I can see why He wanted to spilt The bill, because a Norwegian woman would most likely suggest it. That’s because we work and earn our own money-something we take great pride in. So on a date we would love If The man paid for dinner, but we would also objekt to it because we want to show The guy that we make money and can contribute on all walks of life. This basically puts both of us in a bit awkward situation because he wants to be a gentleman and The Norwegian woman wants to show him that She can take care of her self and him If anything should happen to him.In a normal Norwegian relationship both contribute financially and by doing Chores at home. This is generally a gender equality thing. The holding The door-thing and pulling out The chair is so overrated, is He gonna be my servant or my equal? I am perfectly capable of doing both of them myself, Thank you.

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