Rights: Ole Johnny Hansen for afroginthefjord.com

Dating in Norway: the Strangest things only Norwegian men say

All of these are true, either experienced by me or some of my female friends. Okay okay, some I made up, not that many actually. Hey, no one said it was illegal to have a little imagination 🙂 You can try to guess which ones I made up though, a good test to know whether you know Norwegian society well, or whether you know me well.

1. Do you want to have kids with me? If not, let me know. I am 35, no time to lose with you.

2. How many times per week do you train?

3. Do you want to be my “venn med fordell”?
Me: Your what?
Guy: Friend with benefits, you know, sex.

4. Do you like friluftsliv?

5. Don’t stand so close to my car. It’s a Tesla you know, very expensive.

6. Are you drunk? I mean drunk enough not to remember what we are about to do?

7. Which country do you come from? Oh I have a that country coloured already on my world map of origin of girls I had sex with. If you know any girl from Fiji, North Korea or Romania let me know, I am interested!

8. Guy: Would you move away from Oslo?
Girl: To where for example?
Guy: To the village in Trøndelag I grew up in and live 30 meters away from my parents. You know, for our kids to grow up in nature and stuff.
Girl: What’s your name again?
Guy: Nevermind.

9. It was such a koselig evening we spent together don’t you think?

10. To the waiter: No we’re paying separate.
To me: You had a drink more than me, don’t forget to pay everything you had tonight.
Me, quietly: Screw likestilling.

11. I really like the whale burger here, you should get that.

12. Do you want to snus?

13. Guy: Which novel from Knausgård do you prefer?
Me: I don’t know, I haven’t read any of them.
Guy: (surprised) You don’t read Knausgård? But what DO you read then?

14. Why are you so short? Is there a genetic problem in your family?

15. Do you eat lutefisk?

16. Do you want to become a Norwegian citizen? Why not? Norway is the greatest place in the world you know.

18. Oh you’re that French girl who writes about Norwegians. How many readers do you get every week. Wow so many? Can you write about me?

19. What is your 5-year plan?

20. Did you hurt yourself when I banged the glass door in your face? Oh you expected me to hold the door for you? Sweety, this is Norway, women are not treated like children here, they are expected to hold and carry everything themselves. It’s called gender equality. (Again, screy you gender equality – sometimes).

This is mostly about what Norwegian men say, if you have any input on strange things Norwegian women say on dates, be my guest and contact me with your ideas! Also, if you have other input on things men say, bring it on. Note: this was inspired by a twitter competition called #FirstDateQuestions.

Want to know more about dating Norwegians? Check out my book here!


A Frog in the Fjord: One Year in Norway Book

60 thoughts on “Dating in Norway: the Strangest things only Norwegian men say

    1. Ja her er det mye feil men han har ikke sett alle ulike kulturer i Norge. Bergen er ikke som Oslo, Stavanger er ikke som Trøndelag og Tromsø er ikke kr. Sand. Bergen og Tromsø har like og ulike tradisjoner! Samme som med østlandet, de er veldig ulik nord og vest.

      1. Nei, det er ganske korrekt. Ho har bodd her ganske lenge så tror hun vet hva hun prater om. Dessuten er det jo litt overdrevet for humor sin skyld.

      2. Nordmenn er Europas mest falske svin. Uhøflig, full, billig og ikke mentalt smidig. Kvinnene er stort sett dumme fitter og uvitende.

  1. 1 – 5 and 14 , is my guess that you used your imagination 😉 Norwegians are mostly diplomatic in this case and don’t talk it out also I saw lot of them who like shorter girls

    1. I could say the no.14 is real. My husband (Norwegian) actually did it when we were dating :). Not exactly the same sentence, but he was wondering why I’m so short and he has always been 30cm lonely while we talking a walk.

  2. Norwegian men don’t seem to understand that there’s something called “being polite” which is not contradictory to gender equality. I do know a couple of Norwegian men who actually hold the door for a woman, and pull out her chair in a restaurant and things like that, and I have suggested for them that they arrange courses for their friends in good behavior 😉

    1. @TesseNGebermond: You won’t believe my story, but some ladies can really drive gender equality to extremes…

      I once held her coat up and opened the door for a young lady who was helping me out as a coach in my house. She got really angry, because she thought I was flirting with her. Just by trying to help her into her coat and opening the door for her, I ran into fierce discussion and got branded as a Latin lover, looking to get intimate with her. She was unable to accept my behavior as a form of politeness and insisted on keeping a frozen formal distance up.

      As a result of being scolded for my politeness, I never know what to expect with women. I feel intimidated around women, thanks to gender equality extremism. I found out I am not the only one, when I heard of a group of young men who cannot find ladies to have sex with and react with utter hate and violence against women. I condemn their violence, but I understand where it comes from, so please be patient with confused men trying to find their new role around modern women!

      Oh, I’ve got a new coach. She does not allow me to help her into her coat either, but she accepts compliments from me for looking good, when she comes in nicely dressed. She knows she can distract me with her loose blond hair and she laughs about it. She has turned bluntness and flirting into an art. She shares things from her personal life, making it easier for me to share my secrets with her. She hugs me when she goes home, all the while remaining a professional caregiver. 🙂

      Lesson learnt: How I should behave as a man is different every time, because every woman is different. Many more stories could follow! 😉

  3. No idea, they all sound likely. Perhaps not the one about the door in your face. Mind, Norwegian men is likely not to hold the door for you, but I don’t think the would say exactly those things.

    1. Wrong ! I did just that for 3 years ! They are liars , cads , and won’t stand by you when things get tough . Cowards . “ be afraid very afraid “😡

  4. Twelve years ago my Norwegian language teacher ,Aud, told me to never lose my ” Englishness”. I now realise what she meant. Keep holding the doors, keep saying please and thankyou and keep speaking your mind . I have .

    1. Hi Elena
      Actually this rumor used to be true. At the time of Versailles French people did not wash themselves in the palace and if I remember well there were no proper toilets, and therefore they smelled very bad. hence the reputation that is following us until now 🙂 But I am pretty sure modern French people take showers every day.

      1. Hahaha, NO. They – French girls – still dont have shower everyday. And most of them dont change panties everyday. Many even sleep in them. Thats two things they share with the German girls. Compared to that, Norwegians – and other nordics – are very hygienic.
        But there are many very funny statements by Norwegians (IF they open their mouth and talk) I used to travel around Norway with my Norwegian gf, who turned Vegan. To almost any Norwegian, the concept of a Vegan is more alien, than if you tell them: She has just arrived from planet Mars.
        One was a waiter in a restaurant: You say she s Norwegian? But vegan ? She can not be Norwegian. Anyway: She speaks too much. (I was doing all the talking. She had only confirmed three times what I said by saying: Yes)

        Another guy. You re married to a girl from Poland ? Yes, I found that very practical. She does all the talking for both of us.

  5. Norway seems to have real gender equality and not fake one like rest of the countries where men still have to chase them and pay for them and drive them and do everything in between and won’t even get thanks in return.

    1. Gentleman is a British middle class concept, so no, you will not find many of those in Norway. And a good thing too I believe. I think we have to do our best to maintain those sides of our society that makes it little hierarchical. Our flat social structure is a huge strength. It is however very much under attack.

      Of course, this does not mean we need to be inconsiderate.

      1. It`s not a concept , it`s something to do with your upbringing . Having manners crosses all class barriers . ” Flat social structure ” !! Only in Scandinavia can you get away with that BS .

      2. This one is meant for Dave Smiths last comment, as it was not possible to reply to it. Of course it has to do with your upbringing! Do you believe English upbringing is universal? It is a cultural thing. Same goes for your definition of manners.

      3. I totally disagree with you. The “gentleman” concept is a universal concept of consideration and social grace, for both sexes. Unfortunately, in Norway, this awareness of and consideration for others’ wellbeing in the myriad little everyday social situations we all live in has been strangely linked to “bourgeoisie” society, which – almost by definition – is considered somewhere in the vicinity of facist in socialist Norway. To avoid this dreaded bourgeoise behaviour, too many Norwegians have instead resorted to the “I am the only farmer within miles, and I shout as loud as I please, drive my tractor where I like and piss on my property when I feel like it”. The isolated, “8 kilometres of mountain or a cold fjord between me and my nearest neighbour” peasant way of life may have functioned splendidly 120 years ago, but today, when most Norwegians have moved to the city, this approach to people around you only makes you come off as a primitive and inconsiderate brute. You are a problem to those around you if you behave like this in modern, densley populated areas. Unfortunately, this is exactly how many Norwegians behave, in the cities. They yell in the streets instead of talking, they push in before people on trams and buses have exited, they move their arms sideways while walking on crowded city pavements, hence taking up so much room other people are squeezed out, they stop at the end of escalators to chat or phone someone, seemingly oblivious of the other people coming off the escalator with no way to not collide into them, they yell into their phones on public transport 30 centimetres from other passengers´ears, they walk 5 friends together on narrow pavements and do not give way to people walking the opposite direction (hence the latter have to choose between getting killed in traffic or being bruised by the otherwise inevitable collition with the brutes), they speak with their mouths full of food, so that their dinner date can witness the transformation delicious food undergoes on the way towards becoming intestinal content and finally something our bodies excrete, all the while the date is trying to enjoy the meal themselves, etc. etc. etc. Myself Norwegian, I find Norway is populated by too many inconsiderate brutes, though not everywhere and everyone. You can find descent, considerate people all over Norway, here and there. If you want to find them in largers quantities, Oslo Vest – though also being populated by its fair share of brutes – has a larger share of “gentlemen”, i.e. people who behave with a minimum of consideration to others, than many other places in Norway.

  6. I think these two about gender equality make a man sound like a jerk. It doesn’t seem natural, but more like “you still want your equality, bitch?”. It would be completely fine to say you’re paying for yourself (unless you’re the one who invited someone to that place, obviously) and that’s all, no hinting that not paying is your revenge for the equality. And it would be completely fine to not hold the door (isn’t it a Norwegian thing though? In some countries everyone holds the door for everyone, not just men for women.. or no one for no one for that matter :p). I’m fine with not having the door opened for me (lol), but if you make a comment like the one posted in 20, you sound sexist. You wouldn’t say that to a man from abroad, who expected politeness from you (“Oh you expected me to hold the door for you? Sweetie, this is Norway. People don’t do that for each other here”).

  7. Well I was basically asked about my 5-year plan. To add to that, it came from a guy who was just 28 and already seriously looking for a wife to have kids with. Don’t Norwegians want to enjoy life longer? So weird

  8. Seldom we hear anything particular quirky about Norwegians from Dutch and German bloggers.

    There is one finnish example, but i have lived in Finland, and knows that she is never going back there.

    1. Oh I am a German living in Norway and I am even from Berlin which is known for a bit of rough tough attitude and I find the lack of charm and manners in Norwegians quite tough to handle. It does not make a difference if I get stuck in a door together with a man, because he did not let me go first or if my Norwegian (and very charming) boyfriend holds a door for a woman and she just walks through with that slightly pissed expression on her face that people here master so well. I agree with what was said before likestilling should not be mistaken with bad manners and impoliteness. I happily hold the door for an elderly man and let people get off the train first before I enter, man or woman.

      1. I have many German friends in Norway. They all have responses similar to yours to Norwegian lack of manners and consideration. Though due to their manners and politeness, they voice their criticisms in sotto voce. They also bear Norwegian rudeness with high morale and resiliance, all the while trying to learn the language, the culture, and trying to keep open minds, understanding and not being condemming or defeated or hostile over the hordes of inconsiderate people they suddenly have to navigate every day in their new lives. They all seem happy when their contracts are over, though, and look forward to going home. I don´t blame them.

      2. Those last answers just support the same: You all dont understand Norwegians. I dont blame you. They are hard to understand. I was more than shocked, the first time I reached Norway. But with time I learned to emphasize, and apreciate their special ways of being. They dont even shout: Hey, I m Norwegian. They are just there. Take it, or leave it.

  9. I think most of those questions and behavior above are so reasonable. Especially no. 1, 2, 4 etc. Would love a guy to ask me no. 8, 9, 13, 15 (I love lutefisk!), 16 or talking about 5 year plans. I agree about gender equality but while my short stays in Norge, noone banged the door in my face. Most of the guys were polite enough to hold the door for me etc. I guess this is probably because they knew how it was in Europe. And that made them even cuter! 🙂

  10. I am a Mexican girl and I have known Norwegian boys studying here and visiting at university some years ago, they were a little bit shy, they usually drank a lot to fall sleep 🙂 but they were kind and sweet.
    I would love to date now a Norwegian man, I haven´t found a date website if somebody could tell me where to look for a candidate I´ll appreciate it 😀 It would be amazing if he´d like to come to live here in Mexico because I don´t like cold weather 😛 we have beautiful places to live and financial paradises and opportunities of investments

    1. Try international dating websites. State in your profile that you are specifically looking only for a Norwegian. Follow Norwegian profiles on IG. Good luck.

  11. 1. Yes. We do have special interest in experiencing girls from different parts of the world.
    2. Knausgård is over rated.

    1. Oh it happened exactly the same with me. Im from South America and im very educated, high level, intelligent. He hit in me for weeks, treated me so good, kind, generous, and when he leaved (i met him in a trip), he changed completely. He is fake and ridiculous!

  12. I just found this site, and it’s fascinating to me! I grew up in Norway, IL, the oldest Norwegian settlement in the USA, and so many of these quotes remind me of the extreme Norwegian practicality I am so familiar with. On the first date, he wants to know if you want children? Of course, because that’s a practical reality he intends and there’s no sense being with a girl who doesn’t. But in my experience, Norwegian men and boys are never intentionally rude. The vast majority are sweet and nice. And I like the sense of equality between the sexes. As a farm girl, I was allowed to bale hay, drive tractors, and do the same work as the boys–I did not know any non-Norwegian girls who were allowed to do this work. It made me strong and capable of tackling anything with confidence.

  13. Hahaha, All the answers with long sentences are made up. No Norwegian man speaks with long sentences. But its fun reading.

  14. Honestly am looking for a Norwegian women to end the rest of my life with, am honest loyal straight and the important part is God fear, Norwegian women are perfect it is my private opinion,

  15. Comment by a Norwegian man in response to my attempt at flirting :
    Me: If you like travelling at short notice we should know each other.
    Him: No, no I came with my friend who I already know. We’ve been on many trips together and I know if she thinks the trip will be fun, it will be good.
    Me: [after a polite pause I walk away].

    It still makes me giggle. There was a definite emphasis on that first ‘no’.

  16. 18. Oh you’re that French girl who writes about Norwegians. How many readers do you get every week. Wow so many? Can you write about me?

    Yay he made it to your blog! XD
    Hilarious post! I can imagine them saying these, in English, with their thick Norwegian accents.

  17. They just treat you The same way that they would treat a Norwegian woman. I can see why He wanted to spilt The bill, because a Norwegian woman would most likely suggest it. That’s because we work and earn our own money-something we take great pride in. So on a date we would love If The man paid for dinner, but we would also objekt to it because we want to show The guy that we make money and can contribute on all walks of life. This basically puts both of us in a bit awkward situation because he wants to be a gentleman and The Norwegian woman wants to show him that She can take care of her self and him If anything should happen to him.In a normal Norwegian relationship both contribute financially and by doing Chores at home. This is generally a gender equality thing. The holding The door-thing and pulling out The chair is so overrated, is He gonna be my servant or my equal? I am perfectly capable of doing both of them myself, Thank you.

  18. Idk if I’m just lucky but I’ve been on many dates with Norwegian guys until I met my boyfriend (who is also Norwegian) and Norwegian guys have been very sweet and most of them wanted to pick up the tab on the first date and cared about more than just having sex with me. Most of these paint Norwegian guys in a horrible light, wow. ^^

    1. @ Dasha

      I am glad to see there are at least one foreign girl with positive experiences:D

      I hope that we are not quite this bad, but that the exaggerations and negativity is a reflection of internet culture and anonymity.

      That said, not denying that some of these traits are real and can be annoying and confusing to foreign women.

  19. Hahahaha . Wow I’m an Indian women . I love to know about different cultures and that was interesting to read. 😂

  20. I live in the U.S. and I am communicating with a man from Oslo who now lives near me. I met him on an Internet dating site. When he was telling me about his preferences and habits he went on and on. I asked him if he was reading from a list. He said no, but perhaps he was talking too much about himself.

    He proceeded to ask me my I was single and how I satisfied sexual desire. He told me to take off my pants. I said I didn’t want to have phone sex. He persisted so I hung up. He later told me it was rude of me. I am trying to keep an open mind. Is this the typical behavior of a mature Norwegian man?

  21. I have a Norwegian bf. Before I thought we broke up because he did not message me back for 2 days. But when he talked to me again he said it was bcoz he was busy. His work is demanding. Then we got back together. He was sweet and put more effort and time but after 2 weeks he did not talk to me again for 2 days and when back he talks like everything was normally fine. Is it normal for norwegians or is that part of playing it cool thing? are they really not accustomed to talking to their gfs everyday? He didn’t even say sorry or explain why he dont talk to me for 2 days the last time Im getting confused if he likes me or not coz he could go for days not talking to me but we were talking about children marriage and our future life. idk if im being disregarded and unimportant to him or was he just busy and i have to be more understanding or is he unloyal or flirting with a lot of girls? idk what to think here..Can anyone here pls enlighten me Im not really familiar with any European culture tbh

    1. 2 days seems a bit long. But it depends on the length of the relationship, the distance and if you meet physically on regular basis. Personally, I prefer some form of personal contact or communication every day.

  22. ha ha! My Norwegian boyfriend and I met on a https://cherry-merry.com/ dating site, talked a lot there on all topics, and in a sense agreed on this format of communication, but everything didn’t go according to plan! It’s become much more than just Friend with benefits

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