You might have been invited to a Christmas dinner, Christmas “frokost” or lunch, a vacation or a cabin trip during Christmas time in Norway. How to act, what to say? Don’t panic.

The good news is that if a Norwegian family has invited you to their close intimate Christmas family dinner, it means they count you as a very close friend or part as their family. If you are their child’s foreign partner they might feel obliged to invite you (because you are becoming part of their family whether they like it or not haha!).

But in any case it is important to know a few cultural concepts and have a Do’s and Don’ts list of a typical Norwegian Christmas dinner. Here are a few tips.

1. Stay Away from the Christmas Debate: Ribbe vs Pinnekjøtt

For some peculiar reason, Norwegian families are embroiled in a heated debate over the ‘best’ Christmas dish: ribbe or pinnekjøtt. The question at hand: is it better to devour the back of a pig with diced fat, or incredibly salty lamb ribs boiled over water with small sticks? If you’re not Norwegian, this might seem like an odd question and you might prefer neither.

Some families opt for lutefisk instead. Lutefisk is cod in lye that tastes like soap has the texture of a jellyfish.

Talk about a tough choice!

Therefore, it’s best to steer clear of the entire debate. If Uncle Kjell-Ronny insists on knowing your stance on the best Christmas dish, ask him about the difference and serve him more aquavit. Hopefully, he’ll forget the conversation.

Side note: if you don’t eat pork, then it is an easy choice: say you prefer pinnekjøtt because ribbed is pork.

2- If you’re a vegetarian, or vegan, eat before the Christmas dinner
Here’s a list of Norwegian Christmas foods you can eat if you’re a vegetarian: potatoes, red cabbage, cranberry jam. There are probably gingerbread cookies somewhere in the house.

In other words, you won’t get full from this. If you’re lucky, you’ve been invited to a progressive Norwegian family that makes a “nut stick” and veggie balls, but you can’t count on that.

So, eat beforehand, and don’t mention that you’re a vegetarian. It might spark an even bigger debate than pinnekjøtt and ribbe with Uncle Ronny. “Haaa, you don’t eat meat? But won’t you get sick?”

3- Always say yes to a drink

Norwegians loosen up with alcohol, especially at a Christmas dinner. Like many families around the world, Christmas is a challenging time that makes old conflicts come back.

There are different types of alcohol you might be served during Christmas time in Norway. Not all are equally good. Christmas beer is a dark beer that can almost make you full. Convenient to drink if you’re a vegetarian and couldn’t eat more than the potatoes. Aquavit is much stronger and also a very practical alcohol to consume during a Norwegian dinner. Aquavit has the fantastic ability to dissolve all the fat from ribbe or pinnekjøtt. Therefore, it’s recommended to drink towards the end of the Christmas dinner.

And then there’s moonshine. Stay away! You could go blind from it. Be aware that moonshine can come in bottles that look official, like Fernet Branca or Cognac.

4- Don’t criticize Norwegian traditions
Norwegians can be very sensitive when it comes to any criticism of their traditions.

That counts for food traditions. Maybe eating smalahove has traumatized you (the sheep head where each piece of meat you eat reveals a piece of the sheep’s skull). Rakfisk smells like rotten toe. Julebrus or Christmas soda tastes like medicine from your childhood.

Take a deep breath, have an aquavit, and smile. Just say that you love everything you eat and drink that is typically Norwegian. Otherwise, Norwegians can get upset and even offended.

This applies to other traditions too, like calling December 23rd ‘little Christmas Eve,’ (lille juleaften) or leaving porridge for a small troll behind the house.

5- Don’t comment on ‘Three Wishes for Cinderella’
One of the traditions is to watch the movie ‘Tre nøtter til Askepott.’ It’s a very strange Austrian-Czech film set in the snow a that will definitely give you a headache. The reason it gives you a headache is that there’s one man dubbing all the characters, something Norwegians find completely normal.

I’ve wondered if Norwegians were too poor to pay more than one actor, but I never got an answer as to why it turned out that way.

6- Go to bed early
You don’t want to witness Uncle Kjell-Ronny trying to speak English to you after 13 shots of akevitt (or worse: French), or Aunt Grete taking off her socks to dance. Go to bed early.

7- Choose the right conversation topics

Here are a few ideas of conversation topics if you have nothing to talk about to all these strangers:
– Christmas traditions in your own country without condemning Norwegian traditions
– Food traditions in your own country without saying that Norwegian Christmas food is bad
– Whether there’s snow in your own country for Christmas
– Your efforts to learn how to ski
– The most challenging dialects to understand in Norway

Avoid the following topics: politics, religion, that you hate snow and winter, everything you don’t like about Norway and Norwegians.”

Good luck, and most of all Merry Christmas!!!

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