Once, I invited a Norwegian acquaintance over for a short visit—she was just coming to pick something up. She looked around and said, “Oh, what a nice home you have, there’s so much… life here.”

I didn’t quite understand what she meant. What life is she talking about? Then I remembered that Norwegians aren’t direct, and I laughed.

It got me thinking. Norwegians love to say that they are direct. I disagree, they are very indirect in fact. As the Norwegian expression says “they go around the porridge” (beat around the bush in English).

There are many Norwegian expressions that show just how indirect Norwegians really are. You always need to read between the lines of what they really mean. For example, if someone says, “Jeg må nesten dra” (I almost have to go). What does that even mean? Do you have to go, or not? Are you going to step halfway out the door and then come back in?

The most indirect Norwegian expression, in my opinion, is “Vi sees plutselig” (we’ll meet suddenly). This is something mysterious. When a Norwegian says that they actually mean: “I’m not going to call you. Please don’t call me either. We’ll probably never see each other again, but if we happen to be in the same room and can’t avoid each other, we’ll say hello.”

There’s a lot to read into those three words. In other languages, there’s nothing quite like it. “We’ll meet suddenly” in English, for example, doesn’t mean anything.

If you use the same expression but drop the word “suddenly,” it means something entirely different. “Vi sees” can be said between good friends who are making an effort to meet again soon. It’s much warmer than saying “Vi sees plutselig.”

Norwegians beat around the bush in all social situations, whether with acquaintances, daycare/barnehage staff, or at work. But Norwegian work culture is probably the best example of how indirect Norwegians are.

When a Norwegian boss asks if you “can look at something,” (se på noe)  it’s not very clear what they actually mean. For example, “Can you look at the invoice?” or “can you look at the report?” If Norwegians are so direct, it would mean that employees could just go over to the boss, glance at the report for a minute, and say, “I’ve looked at the report!” But what the boss might mean is that you should read it, write a summary, or give an update on it later in a meeting.

“Can you check that everything on the invoice is correct, and post it?” would be the sentence of a direct person. But for a Norwegian, “can you look at it?” is enough. Norwegian leaders don’t want to be bossy, so they give vague instructions, so employees don’t feel like they have authoritarian leaders.

When people don’t do a good job, it’s unthinkable in a Norwegian workplace to communicate it in a direct way. “You’re bad at your job” is something no one can say, neither to employees, colleagues, nor bosses. That would be too direct, even though you might think that adults could handle the truth.

In France, we hear such things as children. “The quality of your work wasn’t good enough, I expect better” is something I could read on my math exams when I was 10 years old. If something unpleasant or negative is communicated to you as an adult in Norway, you can be sure it will be wrapped up. There will be meetings, maybe letters, and more meetings. Everyone reads between the lines to understand what’s actually going on.

When Norwegians have to give negative feedback, they have special words they use. For example, the word “uheldig”, or “unfortunate” in English. In English that is not a very strong word but for Norwegians it is.

For adults, it’s an effective word to express dissatisfaction without being too explicit. “It was an unfortunate process” “Det var en uheldig prosess” is a strong message for Norwegians, I’ve learned. But it actually says little about the process itself or what went wrong. If it’s said without further details, it’s up to everyone to understand what went wrong. It’s hard to learn from our mistakes in a society where everyone is so afraid of confrontation.

Why are Norwegians so indirect? Most are conflict-shy. If you state your opinion outright, you risk that the person you’re talking to disagrees with you. Oh no, we can’t have that. It’s much better to be vague and hope that others understand what we mean.

I also find that Norwegians can be indirect in their positive feedback as well. I had a boss a few years ago who didn’t say anything more positive than “That was fine.” “Det var greit”. You got a “That was fine” if you did something extraordinary. Because you’re not supposed to think you’re that great, either. No one wants you to think you’re better than others.

There are some Norwegians in this country who are direct. I was in Tromsø, and there was a headline in the local newspaper that I rarely see in a national newspaper: “Does the mayor think people are stupid?” (iTromsø). If my acquaintance had been from the North, she probably would have said: “Wow, it’s really messy here,” and I would have loved it. Cheers to Northerners for being the most direct of Norwegians.

This article was first published in VG under the title “Typisk norsk å gå rundt grøten” on the 28th of october 2024.