Is Norwegian a Language of Love?

When people tell me “I loooovve French, it’s such a romantic language” it is obvious these people didn’t understand that our conversation was just about going down to the shop to buy a broccoli and oignons.

I believe there is no such thing as one language being the language of love. In Norwegian, like in every other language, you will find many words to express love, longing, desire and so have you. Here are a few language tips for those who want to understand the Norwegian language of love. This post was requested by Mathilde before Valentine’s day to have to words to say to her loved one!

Now as Norwegians have some difficulty and shyness in expressing such strong feeling as love, there are of course complicated subtleties here.

Three ways to express love
There are three ways to express likeness or love in Norwegian: Jeg liker deg, Jeg er glad i deg, Jeg elsker deg.

Apparently the first one is the weakest one (jeg liker deg/ham/hun) but also the one used the most. One uses it to talk about a not so strong feeling for not so close people. It can be a famous person you’ve actually never met before. A song, a band.

Jeg er glad i deg is something you can say to people who are close to you: your close friends, your partner (easier to say than Jeg elsker deg). The exact line between the use of Jeg liker deg and Jeg er glad i deg is still quite unclear to me. According to a friend of mine Jeg er glad i deg is used in the same way than I love you in English.

And this is where problems start. If you thought that Jeg elsker deg had the same meaning than I love you, you were fooling yourself. Jeg elsker deg in Norwegian is something one says very seldom and for extremely strong feelings which are not even close to being covered by a simple I love you. Especially in the way some English native speakers use it (a lot).

How do you know then that someone loves you? “Du burde vite det” (You should know) is the general answer. Great. Love in Norway is based on the assumption that others know you love them and they love you in return. I believe this is an easy excuse for people to keep strong feelings buried deep inside instead of trying to express them in any way. Why would I need to tell you I love you when I tapped you on the back, which should have been enough of a sign for you to be sure? (or a blink of an eye, or the quiver of a moustache, see Weird things Norwegians do).

Who should you say Jeg elsker deg to?
In England I remember being at Tesco’s and the 55 year old plumpy lady telling me “Hi love, what can I do for you?”. Hva i helvete? LOVE? I don’t even know you. Somehow Norwegians can use the word love in a different way than elske, but that is because you only elske those you are so close to your heart you could die for them: your wife, husband and your kids. Full stop. (sorry, the cashier from Rimi is not in that list).

But even those who really elske each other do not say it that often, that is also a little strange. Apparently a joke is going around in Norway that when a woman complains to her husband/samboer that he doesn’t say Jeg elsker deg enough to her, he answers “I said it to you once, and will let you know if that comes to change in the future”. How to kill the romance in half a sentence? Call a Norwegian.
Based on this only, it is hard to defend that Norwegian, or at least bokmål, is the language of love.

Other ways to say I love you
But then again, many words show there are some feelings going on here: kjærlighet (love, the noun), følelser (feelings), å ønske (desire), å være forelska (to be in love), kjærlighet ved første blikk (love at first sight), omhet (tenderness), kjæreste (boyfriend/girlfriend). Å være kjæreste in Norway is a much stronger relationship than a boyfriend or girlfriend in France for example. In Norway being kjæreste is very serious. That is why it can take ages before it actually happens, and then it can take 2 months only before you go from kjæreste to samboer status.

Another funny one: the use of kjære. You could think Kjære means Dear like you would say “Dear Anna” at the beginning of a letter and translate that by “Kjære Anna”. But actually kjære is also a word used for your dearest ones. Writing an email to your lawyer and starting with kjære in Norwegian is super strange.

How to love in nynorsk?
Then, in nynorsk, love is not kjærlighet but kjærleik (words love and play together). Nynorsk might be more the language of love than bokmål. Then again, all those men at sea for long months, God knows how much longing and desire there has been during centuries on the coasts of Norway.

A connected word is hugleik, which is translated to fantasy or mindgames, but often is understood to be a nynorsk word for love. Apparently there has been a lot of fun about the sentence “eg hugleikar deg av heile mi blodpumpe”, the same as “eg elskar deg av heile mitt hjarte” (I love you with all my heart – in nynorsk literally translated by something like: I fantasise you with all my bloodpump). This is one of the reasons, among others, that makes me think that nynorsk is much more a language of love than bokmål. Nynorsk always seems to have very colourful and illustrative ways of saying things, giving more space for creativity and wordplay. Then again, that’s just me, and I am far from being a nynorsk expert.

Little names Norwegians call each other
I was also wondering what Norwegians in love call each other, here is a sample: pus or kosepus (like the little cat), nuss (like the little kiss), elskling, hjertet mitt (my heart), lille venn (little friend), and my favorite: snuppa, although I don’t really remember what it means.

Kjerring seems to be the most controversial, some women thinking it’s nice, others thinking it is a horrible name to call a woman. Apparently it depends where you live and your dialect. Again, complicated.

In French, people call each other mon amour, mon coeur, mon bébé (but you have to have a blue and pink unicorn tattoo and a flashy car with written Harry all over it to call each other bébé), mamour. People very very seldom say “Je t’aime”. Maybe not as seldom as Norwegians, but not everyday either. French women usually complain their man never says it, and then when he is drunk says it every 5 minutes. “At least he said it to you!” would be her friend’s answer.

To conclude, Norwegian is not less or more the language of love than any other language. Okay maybe it is not the most romantic language in the world, but that really depends how much people actually use the words available to them. The real question is: are Norwegians romantic? For another blogpost.

P.S: I hope you love Ole Johnny Hansen’s illustration as much as I do (yes, I said love). And by the way, I have a new website, welcome! This article was published on VG.no under the title: Er norsk et kærlighetsspråk?

Comments

33 responses to “Is Norwegian a Language of Love?”

Cås

January 28, 2025

I’m curious about why the creator of ‘Frog in the Fjord’ never addressed this. Given that it was written in 2015 but continues to be discovered frequently, I’d be interested in reading her response. One advantage of having a comment section is that future readers can observe the interactions between old and new content, as well as questions, comments, and constructive feedback (ideally constructive and not unkind). A good example: Olav’s comment He corrected the author/you and explained the reason. Another good example: Hege’s comment – explains why she agrees with some but disagrees with other parts. Egil: This comment was helpful, interesting, and explained ‘in-practice’—and any colloquial usage…. Frankly, there are many great examples. G: Here is a bad example: An angry ‘Norwegian’ [whose probably .. actually…Swedish] who is not brave enough to leave his name so he goes by ‘G’, but is brave enough to say that you’re entire site is sh*t because it’s all untrue. He’s certainly a hyperbolic character —and as a kid—never believed in the law of Jante. To the commenterWhen you said “maybe in you’re fjord,” was there a sarcastic tone intended? I’m sincerely asking because, despite having considerable empathy and being autistic, I struggle with detecting sarcasm. Many people mistakenly believe autistic individuals lack empathy, when in fact, many experience hyper-empathy, which can be exhausting. As a result, I often notice how messages might come across as passive-aggressive or harsh when directed at others. I am completely deaf, which applies to only 3 percent of the population. This means no hearing aid would be effective for me. While most people perceive sound in terms of clarity, I have no sound at all – it feels as if my ears are blocked. All of this leads me to pay close attention to people’s word choices, and sometimes I can speculate on why someone might not have responded. My best guess is either she wasn’t receiving many responses at that time (around 2015) or she didn’t feel it warranted a reply (which would perplex me). I’ll remain intrigued until Frog in the Fjord addresses this. I plan to check the website every Tuesday for several years for an answer. I’ve already been doing so for 2 years, which is why I’m speaking up now. What if I responded every Tuesday for 2 years? That might elicit a response! (I’m half-joking, half-considering it. After all, “If not for a bit of weirdness in one’s life, then to hell with all of it.”) I’ve noticed several Norwegian errors in your write-ups, but that’s okay – you’re learning. Although I’m reading from 2015/2017 comments because that’s what popped up on search results when looking for something entirely unrelated. Perhaps you’ve had more updated accounts of what you’ve learned. Do you ever go back to old blogs and correct your errors—but make a note of the update at the bottom of the -page OR just add the correct word/sentence after the incorrect one — this shows that you’re in a constant phase of learning and that’s what doctors do—constantly ‘practicing medicine’ so thats what polyglots do, too. Don’t let negative remarks discourage you. The critical ‘G’ individual likely speaks only two languages, while you’re willing to explore more. Your openness to making mistakes demonstrates the best approach to learning. In Norway, newcomers are often encouraged by coworkers to speak up without fear of errors. We once had an intern who would only practice Norwegian in a pub-like setting, even signing off his emails as if he were in a pub. It was almost like an inside joke, not always obvious. Imagine our perplexity when he used “cheers” in an email sign-off; he questioned why *this* pub term was acceptable. I explained that we occasionally adopt phrases from the United States.That day, I clarified the meaning of the expression ‘completely Texas’ to him. [det var helt Texas/helt Texas etc.]. Unfortunately, he was from Texas.
Nobody liked him and he went home. You’ve been at it for quite some time, I am writing this on Jan 28.2025 [which the date stamp will likely show; it might be beneficial to consider the advice in some of your comments–unless, of course, you already have in newer posts —but addressing these older ones do make an impact–a difference. I recommended it, highly. Many people appreciate both positive feedback and constructive criticism to improve their skills. Only a fool desires positive feedback 100% of the time. I find your site charming and endearing, though occasionally slightly inaccurate and not always representative of Norway as you describe it. If it’s subjective, that’s fine, but sometimes you make assumptions about the culture or country that don’t align with the intentions, and most Norwegians would likely point this out unless they had dementia and reverted to a pre-Norway era. I feel terrible for those with dementia, and yes, it’s an unusual example. But “if you can’t be a little odd, then to heck with all of it.”

July 14, 2019

what a load of shit. absolutely incorrect in almost every sense ( from a norwegian)

Cristina Onete

February 14, 2018

Ha! I have lived in France for the past five years, and one of the absolutely funniest things I’ve heard was…. a whole bunch of French endearments. Starting from “ma puce” = my flea, “ma cocotte” = my pot??, and my favourite “ma p’tite crévette” = my little shrimp! Granted, I was in Brittany (Bretagne) when I first heard these, and they might have some endearments of their own, but still, I found that French endearments can be truly funny!

I do want to congratulate you for your blog. I am not Norwegian myself, but I am married to one, and I can recognize some of the things you mention. It’s very enjoyable to read your posts !