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How to Become A Famous Norwegian Blogger
Dreaming of becoming a famous blogger? Or just wanting to get famous? It is completely possible in Norway if you follow this couple of advice I will give you. You might have to make some sacrifices (marry a footballer, get a boobjob at 17, adopt a cute pig pet, inject yourself with dangerous tanning products) but how much exactly do you want this??
Way no.1: Get married to someone who is already famous and write about your life as, for example, the wife of this famous man. Many examples here: fotballfrue, a tall blond lady who married a football player and writes about her/their life. Komikerfrue, she married a stand up comedian. These women mainly write about their pregnancy, or their desire to get pregnant, or their diet, or their dog.
So I’ve been thinking. As I am not married yet I think there is still some potential to marry a famous person and write about my life with him/her. So I thought of getting married to Petter Stordalen but it turns out he is already taken. Damn it: he is super famous already, my blog would have been through the roof. But Gunnhild, if you’re out there, I think your blog would work really well. Or I could marry Olav Thon, I would call it hotellfrue.blogg.no. Or I could marry Siv Jensen and then I could call it mooooornajensfrue.blogg.no. Or I could marry Kjell Inge Røkke and I would call it fiskefrue.blogg.no (somehow that sounds a bit less appealing than fotballfrue).
No, the feminist in me cannot create a life and a name for myself based on someone I marry: unlike in the Middle Ages, I don’t want to be defined by the social status of my husband. Isn’t there a way to become a famous blogger on your own?
Way no.2. There is a way to do this on your own, in what Norwegians call Rosablogger (pink blogs). This version of becoming a famous blogger is much easier if you are a sexy and young girl but I guess anyone can try this out. A good example of this is Sophie Elise and Therese Charlotte. These bloggers started very young (around 14 years old) and did not get a famous blog based on their husband’s famous status, but based on their own achievements: a great tan, early plastic surgery operations and great skills to get talked about in the media. I must warn you this will take some effort, such as injecting yourself with dangerous stuff that will make you look orange, talk about your abortion on TV and take pictures of yourself in your bikini. Note that very big boobs are needed for this. If you don’t look naturally like a pornstar (who does…) you can of course get plastic surgery and even make a before/after blogpost out of it with the bruises and all!
I thought of becoming a rosablogger, but unfortunately this kind of blogging requires knowledge I don’t have: I have never been on a diet, have no training tips, don’t know anything about low carb recipes or low calorie food, and have no opinion about the best make up or clothes. Unfortunately I will have to stick with the Frog in the Fjord. Damn it, I could have called my rosablogg kinkyfroggy.blogg.no or theforbiddenfrog.blogg.no. See, another great opportunity missed by an inch.
Way no.3: Make a cooking blog like Trine who is now writing books and surely became famous and rich. I don’t have a TV but I’m sure she in there too. There is also Cecilia, Passion 4 Baking and so on and so on. There isn’t too much personal sacrifice involved here and there won’t be any expectation for you to talk about your intimate life experience, but you need to get creative on the cooking agenda and come up with alternatives to the very famous matprat.no
Conclusion: if you want to become famous through your blog in Norway you need to go for bigger boobs, marrying a rich and famous man or blog about what you do in your kitchen. Where the hell is Norwegian feminism when it comes to blog writers and readers? On a long vacation?
Disclaimer: I only wrote about famous women blogers because they are the ones being at the top of the charts. However, there are a few men out there writing successful Norwegian blogs, like about being a dad like pappahjerte, a blog for “tough men with a soft heart” and another one (my absolute favorite) about being sweet and sexy (and very funny): Terje is a farmer living in Trøndelag who writes an anti-rosablogg where he dresses in pink and talks about his cows and his farming machines as there were sexual objects (to make fun of rosabloggers). When I grow up I want to be like Terje!
Comments
21 responses to “How to Become A Famous Norwegian Blogger”
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But you’re already famous. And your blog is better than all these others!
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Nice to see Janteloven has grown on you ;D
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I hope this is a joke right?
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lol, it is just a stupid cheap shoot I use when someone makes fun of my idols <3
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Considering the thousands of readers these blogs have every day I would say you are not the only one who has them as idols 🙂
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Do you want a long list of norwegian feminist blogs? hehe, I get your point, they are not on “blogglisten”. But they do exist!
good post -
I love your blog, always read it but never comment (sorry, I’m Norwegian). Anyway, this one takes the cake (to paraphrase a Norw. expression) Being a humble, botox free food blogger, desperately needing more readers, I will now consider spray tan, a boob job or marrying somebody famous. Probably the last. Or at least re-naming my blog Totally Sexy Greek Food. Or something. What do you suggest?
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Haha I will read your blog and think about it!
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Yet another awesomely funny, and true to life blog post! Thank you! I agree with you in many aspects as I run my own (sort of…) popular food blog thanksforthefood.com. I write about learning to love Norway through its cuisine and about eating in Norway as an “expat” on a budget as well as answer reader questions about life in Norway as a non-Norwegian. I published a cookbook in February (which you mentioned – awesomeness!) and have been working with food-related companies/entities in Norway + the USA for the last few years in regards to Norwegian cuisine. I also wrote my MBA thesis about social media and food festivals in Norway.
I say this to illustrate that there are in fact some of us down to earth, “everyday” bloggers out here who are simply sharing our lives in the best way we can & blogging about the realities of everyday life in Norway – not just the “popular examples” you mentioned. Many of us have the writing/photography/networking/business chops along with the audience following to prove it.
In my experience writing my food blog over the last 5 years (!), I have noticed that in Norway, popularity comes with media coverage and social media traffic – not necessarily on quality of content. Not to say that the bloggers you mentioned do not have quality for their audience – they obviously do (especially Trine who I adore!)- but those outside of the ones you mentioned do not seem to get much publicity. Not at all bad things depending on what your personal goals are as a blogger, just saying that “popularity” does not equal “quality” (just like in high school…lol!). Bloggers in Norway have become more and more culturally & commercially relevant as they’ve become “taste makers” with an already built in audience – which is something businesses seek to capitalize on (just ask the football wife or any of the other bloggers you mentioned who have monazited their blog).
As a last note, I think some people miss is how much work it is to run a blog – successful or not. My advice if one wants to become famous is not to start a blog (and especially NOT a food blog). The hours are long, the pay is nonexistent for much of your blogging career and a lot of effort goes into the art of writing for online publications (and running social media accounts, taking photos, networking online & offline, learning HTML, CSS and other coding languages plus InDesign and Photoshop, etc. etc. etc.). If one wants to be famous, go for the big guns and become a politician 😛 -
Hi, great post!
I’m Magne and I’m a journalist working with blogs in VG. Now I have given this post a recommendation by linking to it from vg.no. Look for «Slik blir du en toppblogger». Thank you for blogging.
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Dear Magne,
thanks for your interest in my blog. Next time it would be better if you ask me first to link to my blog, and check with me if I am okay with the picture and title you chose…You can always contact me on froginthefjord@gmail.com
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Ok, no problem. But do you want me to remove it from vg.no?
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Thank you Magne and VG for introducing this great blog to us all! I’m her new follower. 🙂
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Hi Frog!
This is a brillisnt blogpost and very true! Some of the rosabloggers even get more payed than both their parents at the same time. Can you believe that??
Vargas
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Tout simplement merci 😉 j’adore te lire.
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Im sorry, your wrong about nr 1 on your list. Fotballfrue’s husband wasn’t famous at all when they got married. SHE on the other hand made HIM a familiar face after becoming the biggest blogger in Norway. No one had heard of him until then. Get your facts straight, thank you very much 🙂
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I think you are spot on when it comes to norwegian bloggers.
I just draw stuff on my blog. -
Haha. Oh, no! The trønder anti-rosa blogg was completely new to me. Actually I’m from a place nearby where he live. I was just thinking: “Oh no man, you didn’t!!!”
I have suggestion about a subject you can check out about norwegian. The local dialect. People feel very proud of their dialect. Sometimes when people move from their homeplace it is taken as a big insult to your homeplace if you change your dialect somehow (especially if they get famous!!).
Like me (just to get a little ego-centric here, ehrrm…) come from Trøndelag and moved to Oslo and started to speak Oslomål. (if you change your dialect to Oslomål its the hugest insultment off all). And know I can only take sneaky trips at home to visit my family… and if I’m so unlucky to meet anyone, and even talk, well.. In best case they will start to repeat with an ironic gesture every thing I say wrong (and I say s much wrong that it’s practically impossible to keep one normal conversation)And as said, the more famous and successful you become, and the bigger family you have, or smaller and more closed communities, the bigger the insultment. And as personally spoken, I am none of those, so I for the people who are one or more of the things above… stay in Oslo.
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Btw, nice blog. I love it. Looks like you cracked the blogger-code without have to go back to 50th female standard 🙂
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This is funny (snickering)
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I love your humour and could not help myself from giggling through the whole post despite sitting in a library. Keep up the good work!
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